Your not him, but
by Yuki-Hibiki
Summary: What do you do when the one you love doesn't love you back? Get with his brother. Yaoi Coplete, but if anyone wants a continuation then I'll be happy to try.
1. Living a Lie

**Disclaimer:** Don't own, never gonna, just thought that this would be a cool story line.

This plot just came to me while I was in Classics class, I told my friend and she laughed but I still think that this story could be really cool and interesting if someone else had written it before me.

**YAOI.** So if you don't like then don't read. I don't want any flames complaining about the 'two boys getting together' when I have warned you up here of what is in the story. Those reviews will be laughed at by me and my friend. So watchout.

**Your not him, but...**

Your eyes are like his, so clear and blue. When I look into the my mind can almost visualise him lying over me, spent. But you not him. Your eyes are half closed, you're almost asleep, your hands slowly run through my hair, the satisfied smirk on your face lets me know what your thinking of, who your thinking of.

As your drift off to sleep you mumble the name of your love and become a dead weight on my chest. If this was a normal relationship I would be upset that it wasn't my name you said. I'm so used to hearing you scream his name at the climax of ... our activites I guess you could call it. If I was as vocal as you I know I'd scream out his name, not yours. That's all were are to each other, substitutes for the ones we really want. Staring at your ceiling, with you softly mumbling as you sleep, makes me wonder if he would mumble like you do. You look so much like him, but that's not surprising, your are brothers.

I guess that's what started it. You both could be twins if not for the age difference, but the same could be said for me and... I'm brought back to reality as an elbow connects with my stomach. You toss violently in bed and I have the bruises to prove it too. You toss and turn moaning incoherant things with a frown pressed deeply into your face. If I loved you, I'd wake you up and soothe you of your troubles. But I don't, so I just lie here waiting for you to either get through whatever problems you face in your dreams or wake up. You do the latter and with the force of momnetum that you used to sit up, somehow winds me up on the floor. Your breathing is short and sharp as if you've just run a mile instead of just waking up.

The idea to get up and ask if you are ok doesn't even enter my head. I don't have the right, cause I'm not the one you want. I do wonder however, if I just lie here and be real quite would you wonder where I was? I look up to see your head peering over the bed. You have that little smirk on your face that shows your sorry. He makes that same face.

'sorry,' you mumble 'guess I move around to much, even for you.' Your head disappears back over the bed and I hear you sigh as you slid over to the other side and get up. I'm left lying on the floor naked.

This... 'us' if you could call it... no calling it 'us' means that we feel something for each other, which we don't. it's purely sex. Sex and release for all the emotions that we bottle up as we watch them sit with their girlfriends, cuddling, kissing. This fuck friend relationship we have is to keep them from seeing us jealesous. I know I love him to much to put the pressure on him to love me back. He's my best friend for Gods sake, I could never get him to choose between me or her. I wonder sometimes if it's because I'm scared he'll pick her over me. You feel the same way about your situtation too. They have a name for us. Bleeding hearts I think it is. We would rather see the ones we love with the ones they love then see them unhappy, even though we ourselves, are felt feeling lonely. That's how 'this' started.

You come back from where ever it was that you went to. Must have been the bathroom, your dressed and your hair is slightly damp from the mosture.

'get up.' You don't even need to look to know I haven't moved. 'they'll be here soon and I don't want them to see you here.' 'like that' you say with a pause almost as if... nevermind that was a stupid thought anyway.

'Get up' you say again, louder this time and more harsh, your turning into your brother every day. I deside that I should get up soon, but only cause it's a bit uncomfortable down here. Your carpet is making my skin ich everywhere.

'Alright I up. I gonna have a shower.' You hm'ed in reply as you rumage around in your drawers, for whatever is in that draw. It's funny, I've come here about twice a week for the past 7 months and I still don't know where you keep anything. Only the towels. I know where they are, if I didn't I'd never be able to dry myself.

The shower is warm and I surrender myself to the numbness of the water as the high pressure pelts my skin. I lean against the wall, almost asleep when you bang on the bathroom door with a quick strong fist.

'hurry up, it's 10 am, they'll be here in half and hour.' I hear your footsteps retreating softly over the noise of the water hitting the wall behind me. Your much different in private then what you are infront of the others. Almost like he is. He puts up a mask that he shows the world, while really underneath he is almost the exact opposite. I finsh in the shower and quickly dry myself and look throguh my overnight bag for the pair of clothes I was going to change into.

Once I'm dressed I walk out of the shower and head back to your bedroom to stuff my bag under your bed. You'll wash them and put them back for the next time I come. Just like I do when you stay over at my place. I walk into the hallway and down to the front door so I can go down to the café just across the street and watch as everyone comes to your apratment as I always do. I open the front door to see a hand almost touching my chest and the owner of that hand eye's wide with surprise.

'Oh, hey Taichi, what are you doing here this early?'

**--?--**

There we go. Did any of you guess who the characters were? I was going to do this as a one shot but I get bored if I have to write long pieces. So I'll just have to finsh it off in another chapter. From some one else's point of veiw, won't be the same. You can review if you want but it's not a must. I mostly wrote this for myself. Oh and if my spelling is wrony...I'm Sorry. I just really suck at grammer and stuff, even my teachers say so.


	2. Breaking Down

Ok, here is the next instalment to this lovely little romantic piece.

Hear the sarcasm?

Sorry it took me a while to get this chapter up. I had written about 3 pages of it soon after I posted the first chapter, but I never got around to finishing until this week, but the would be due to the fact that I lost the pages I had written it on.

I was so stubborn that I told myself I wouldn't write on this piece until I round those pages, and then while going through my old school papers I found them.

Lucky you.

Well I'm mostly here to tell you that major OOCness is bond to be found in here. I've made the characters older and, well at least some, darker. It fits in more with the desperation feel, if they aren't all 'pixies and fireflies'.

Yep, still yaoi to be found as well.

(Note: Right at the end there is a love scene, but I didn't write it. I found that I would degrade my story to that of a PWP and it also didn't fit in with the style I was writing in. Well that's the reason I'm giving anyway. I might write the love scene in the next chapter.)

Have you figured out the characters yet? I hope you have. They were TAICHI AND TAKERU.

The first piece was written in Taichi's POV, so this one is written in Takeru's POV.

Yes, I did fix up the spelling on the first chapter. I just can't believe that on one complained about it.

'Oh, hey Taichi, what are you doing here this early?'

The voice wafts though my house. He's here, and he's early too. He's never been early in his life, so why now? I stop what I'm doing, waiting to give an excuse.

"I decided to get here early for once in my life. I was just going to go down and get a coffee, do you want to come?" I can hear the smile in your voice as you make a quick lie to cover up why your really here.

People are wrong about you, you are perceptive and you can read between the lines, you just choose not to.

I poke my head out the bedroom door. He's standing there in all his glory, he really handsome. Which his brig brown eyes and the mop of unruly hair that makes me just want to run my fingers through it. Your still there too, facing away from me.

He must have done something that makes you notice that I'm watching. You turn around, and even though you don't mean to, you smile sympathetically towards me. A slight nod of my head and you turn around to face him. He has a confused look on his face, probably wondering what that was all about.

"Well, you gonna come or not? The question makes him forget what just happened.

You and I have gotten good at dodging questions and making people transfer their attention elsewhere. If we weren't, we would have been found out a long time ago. I expect him to say yes, so I walk into the kitchen and go get myself a drink.

"Hey, how are you?" I'm so shocked that I almost drop my drink. I'm glad he's behind me he can't see the look on my face.

"How long has he been here for? the question takes me so suddenly I have to repress the urge to say 'since last night'.

"Oh, I'd say about 10 minutes." My voice luckily doesn't give away what's going through my head. I turn around with a smile plastered on my face.

He looks like he want to ask something else, but he shakes his head as if he thinks better of it.

"Oh yeah, Kari won't be here until later, she has an appointment with the docter. I think she might be pregnant." I really do drop my glass this time, and as it shatters on the floor, I feel my hope shattering too. He looks up from the floor with wide eyes.

He starts forward to start help picking up the minute pieces. I take a big leap over the mess and start pushing him to the door.

"Hey, wait, I'll help you pick the pieces up." He's so stubborn, just like you, but I eventually get him to the door.

"If you want to help, then just get out." I say it more harshly then I wanted to. I then succeed in getting him out the door.

"Go, sit on the couch or soething." I close the dor quickly and rush to the mess that covers the floor.

I start to pick the pieces up, but my hands are shaking so bad that what ever I pick up slips from them and cus into my skin. Picking up more pieces results in the liquid, straight vodka; don't ask why, getting into the wounds and making them sting. I choke back a sob hoping he won't hear me.

He must have better hearing then I thought, his voice can be heard from behind the door.

"Are you ok? Did you cut yourself? Do you want me to help you?" I hear the handle start to turn and I panic.

"If you open that door Motomiya, I swear to god you'll wish you hadn't." I don't know if it was what I said, the tone of my voice, or that I used his last name that made him stop turning the handle. I think it was a combination of all three.

"Hey what's wrong buddy? You know, I'm not the smartest soccer ball in the shed, but I can see something is wrong. If you want to talk about it, I'm always ready to listen. Or… I could get Yama or Tai."

Not even his stupid saying about the soccer ball can get a smile from me. I quickly finish picking up the glass shards, earning more cuts in my hand.

Why, why did he have to say it? Why now?

I knew deep down that something like this would happen, but we were only 19, I mean, we just got out of school and Kari is already pregnant?

'Pregnant'

The word runs through my head, over and over until it just becomes one blur of letters in my head.

And him, the father.

There was always one little part of me that would say that one day he would just show up on my door step and say he loved me. But that voice is gone now. I think it committed suicide as soon as I found out.

I'm so frustrated and confused, I clench my fist closed, totally forgetting about the shards in my hands. The pain brings a new feeling into the all ready fast spinning whirlwind of amotions inside me.

And I laugh.

I laugh for him, I laugh for me and my lost dreams, and I laugh for you.

I run my hands over my face and into my hair, leaving trails of blood and cuts from the glass pieces that are embedded into my skin.

I throw my body down and laugh.

He's calling out to me, asking if I'm ok.

Yeah I'm ok, I'm just dandy. Don't mind me and my pitiful emotions.

The knock on the front door alerts me to the fact I have another visitor, and I hear him as he runs to the door.

He flings open the door and I notice that it is Iori.

They both stare. I can feel their eyes boring holes into me. Even with me staring and the ceiling, laughing hysterically, I can feel their looks of pity.

Pity.

I don't want their pity, I don't want or need theirs or anyone else pity. They don't have to be concerned with what got me in my current presentation.

I stop laughing and slowly turn my head to stare at them. They stand there like frozen statues.

I narrow my eyes until they are just tiny slits and growl at them.

"Get. Out." He makes a move to take a step forward, but I soon put him in his place.

"Don't you DARE come any further. You're caused enough trouble as it is." Do their brains work at all? They still just stand there Mouths agape.

"GET OUT NOW." That's seems to do the trick casuse soo their both trying to fit through the door at once. Iori makes it through first with him following closely behind.

I lie back down on the bloody floor. I'm not quite sure what I sat up, must have been when I last yelled at them.

I can hear their muffled voices from behind the door. Sounds like everyone is there too. All except Kari and you. I can hear Miyaka's voice suggesting, in a loud voice, that they run in and each grab one of my limbs and drag me out. There are arguments on why that wouldn't work, mostly coming from my brother and him. They eventually agree that it would be the best way to get me, when you tell them to let you handle it.

Without a second for them to appose you, your already in the kitchen closing the door behind you.

You turn arounf and walk towards me, you face holds a neutral expression upon it. Your waiting for me to say something. You bend down to my level and run your index finger down one of the cuts on my face. With that simple touch, all the raging feelings inside me die. All that is left is the utter hopelessness of defeat.

"She might be pregnant." It doesn't come out like I wanted it to, I sound weak and insecure. You sigh and stand up. Walking to the sink you get out you handkerchief and wet it once you get to the sink, then come back to stand in front of me.

"Here, wipe your face, you got blood on it." You throw me the damp piece of cloth and walk out the door.

You're bombarded with question, but you just ignore them and keep walking, out the door and to the lift. Very out of character is what the others would say, but I know better.

I look down to my hands and stare at the damp thing there. I can't keep this up and neither can you. I quickly start to scrub my face, getting the blood off and staining you handkerchief.

I hear the ping of the lift and run out of my apartment to see you reaching to press the ground floor button.

"Wait." My voice echoes throughout the empty hall, which is then soon filled with our 'friends'.

Your reach out and press the open door button, waiting for me to continue.

"We… we can't continue to help each other. I'm… this… It's tearing me in two. I can't hack it anymore." I run both my hands again through my hair, forgetting about the glass there again, giving myself new cuts, gripping at the hair on the back of my head.

"I know." Your voice is soft and desolate. We both knew that this would happen eventually, we weren't doing each other favours by being there for the other to use. We both knew that we would be hurt more for it. It was just a competition who would break first I guess. I let my hands flow down from my head, messing up my shoulder length hair, to look at you with a sad smile.

"Will you at least help me get the glass out of my hands? Just one last favour?" you silence reverberates down the hall, even shutting out the birds in the trees outside. You even have to press the open doors button again as you look deep into my eyes.

"I'll help you T.K" I ignore his voice and continue to look at you waiting for an answer.

Eventually you step out of the lift, with a smile grazing your face.

"I'll even put vitamin E cream on your face so you don't scar that pretty little thing." You ruffle your hand in my hair, getting some of the blood from my hair onto it.

"Yeah we couldn't have that now could we?" My sarcasm rips through our audience, and you look down at my face with a unreadable expression. I poke my tongue out at you and smile, showing that there's nothing to worry about.

Then everything is back to normal, well, at least in our on lookers sense. You begin your act of mucking around, joking with him, and I just plaster that smile back on my face. That is until we get to the bathroom, then we are both serious once more.

You turn to rummage through my cupboard for tweezers and cream and I jump onto the sink bench.

"You're an idiot you know that? I can't believe what you just did out there. So stupid." You turn around with a glare on your face as to grab my left hand and yank it towards you, making me lean forward.

"It's almost a stupid as something… I would have done." Your anger dissipates and I am left feeling ashamed and childish. I'm 19 already and I just had a tantrum, well my own version of one at least.

I mutter out an apology, but I'm not quite sure who to, and then we are plunged into silence.

We must have been in there for a long time, cause soon I hear his voice worriedly asking if everything's ok in here, it's soon followed by my brothers own worried voice, asking if he can come in. We both look to each other and know that we are both thinking the same thing.

"Everything's fine in here just, need a little more time to get the glass out and then bandage my hands." While I'm talking, you've snuck over and locked the door as quietly as you can then snuck back to me again. We hear the two grumbling out in annoyance, but they leave us alone. We both listen out until we can hear the whole group talking, before ripping each others clothes off. We've never had to do it in complete silence before, and I know it will be hard for both of us.

You're kissing all over my naked chest, muttering between each one.

"Last time….Last time… this will be… the last time." I wrap my legs around your waist which was conveniently placed between them as I sat on the bench, and you take both my weight and yours, and slowly lower us to the floor. It's not like we hadn't done it in this room before anyway.

"I know, I know. Last time." My reply comes out breathy as you slowly travel down to kiss my inner thighs, every now and then kissing my erection.

And for the first time it's not him I'm think about as you pound into me.

It's you.

It's your name that I want to scream out.

I wonder what you would do if you knew.

How you would feel.

There we go another chapter down on one of my stories. For all of those who are reading my other stories, they will eventually get updated, but I'm about to enter into exam month, (I think I might have already) so you will have to wait a bit longer. I am working on them… slowly.

Remember, if you want to review, do so, but you don't have to.


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